


Newfound Hope

by Distracteddiddlin



Category: The Outer Worlds (Video Game)
Genre: Nonbinary Character, Other, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-21
Updated: 2019-11-24
Packaged: 2021-02-16 10:58:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,946
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21506776
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Distracteddiddlin/pseuds/Distracteddiddlin
Summary: I am Back On My Bullshit
Relationships: The Captain/Phineas Welles
Comments: 9
Kudos: 111





	1. Chapter 1

"When was the last time you slept, Phineas?" Asked the captain.

"Bah, there's too much to do-"

"There's _always_ been too much to do. Has been since before you woke me up, will be for many years to come."

Phineas scowled, but couldn't argue their point.

“What day Phineas?”

Phineas continued to scowl, turning his attention to the rather large machine in front of him. "What day? Ah, let's see…" he mumbled.

"Don't tell me it was last Sunday," said Jay.

"...No, no it was, ah, let me see…" said Phineas as he stalled. What day was it they were so busy? "...Thursday," he said.

" _Oh?_ Thursday you say? The day the generator tried to blow in the middle of a thaw."

"Yes, exactly," said Phineas.

"Well that's worrying," replied Jay.

"......And why is that?" Phineas nervously asked.

"Because team B took care of the generator. _I_ was helping _you_ that entire day making sure the thaws didn't go critical," said Jay with a frown. " _ **Phineas**_."

"...Ah… right," mumbled Phineas.

"I _will_ hide your coffee and put tranquilizers in your saltuna, so help me Phineas," Jay threatened. "You can't _replace_ sleep with caffeine and other drugs, you just put it off."

Phineas frowned at his equipment as he studied the readings, adjusting and tampering with settings until it all met with his satisfaction for the moment. "I am in the middle of something very important," he emphasized.

"You're _making coffee_ ," Jay hissed.

Phineas grumbled to himself as he waited for the pot to finish brewing. He stared Jay in the eye, challenging them as he poured it into his mug, hissing and jerking his hand back as he poured too much by mistake.

Jay rolled their eyes and got a damp cloth for his scalded fingers, as well as one for what spilled on the floor.

Welles ignored them as they cleaned up his mess, and made his escape back to his workstation, caffeine triumphantly in, and only slightly _on_ , hand. He wasted no time burying himself back into his work, already with his nose buried deeply into his notes when Jay caught up to him.

The captain sighed as they walked up, looking over him for a few minutes. "Even the great Phineas Welles has to sleep sometimes," Jay eventually murmured.

Phineas bristled, and didn't look up from his work, save for a glance at the small alarm they placed at his desk.

"Ten hours. Then I'm making you lie down." Jay ignored his grumblings as they went back to running errands around the lab, a shake of their head the only indication they had heard.

The alarm taunted him. It was an ever-present reminder of how time continued to slip through his worn fingers. He had barely begun for the day, but he was already down to only two hours. He glowered at it as he continued writing, his anger growing as the minutes counted down. Fifty-five minutes became forty-five, became thirty, became ten, became five, became zero. The alarm chimed melodically, a tune that was intended to be cheery became completely infuriating to Phineas as it sounded. He growled in frustration, and flung the alarm across the room as it went off.

Jay caught it purely by chance as they walked in, absently turning it off as they walked up. "In the middle of something?" They asked.

" _Always_ ," Phineas hissed in annoyance.

Jay ignored his outburst, and sidled up next to him. " _Is there a thaw in progress?_ " They clarified.

"...No," he quietly conceded.

"Then you're going to lie down for a bit," said Jay, firmly.

"I'm not a child," he hissed with a frown.

"Then don't act like one," Jay retorted. "Just for a couple hours Phineas, _please_ ," Jay pleaded.

He didn't protest as they hooked their arm in his, and slowly dragged him away from his workstation. "You don't have to hold me captive, I'm not going to run away," Phineas grumbled after a few minutes.

"Oh, you won't?" Asked Jay.

Phineas was tellingly silent.

"Thought so," said Jay. “Come on old man, go lie down,” said Jay.

"This isn't going to work, I need to keep working," Phineas insisted as soon as the door closed behind them.

"Why not? You look half-dead from exhaustion already," said Jay, deciding to go the blunt route.

“I… can’t sleep now,” Phineas continued to insist.

“Come on Phineas, no coffee lasts that long, and unless someone snuck you some behind my back, you haven’t had any caffenoid either.”

Phineas frowned, far from eager to admit his reasons for avoiding sleep. “There’s still too many colonists that need to be revived if we’re going to save the colony,” he mumbled, trying to sidestep them.

Jay put up their arm to keep him from leaving."Phineas, I know about the early attempts.”

Phineas blinked slowly and sighed. "...You do."

"Saw some old logs when I reboarded the Hope to skip it."

"...You've known for years?"

"I figured if you wanted to talk about it, you would. But I think we're beyond wanting, and into needing to," Jay murmured.

He sighed. "Those were _my_ mistakes, and it's _my_ burden to bear, not yours-"

"How many years have you been punishing yourself? Trying to atone for them?"

" _Their blood is on my hands_ ," Phineas hissed. 

"How many until you can find it in you to forgive yourself? Is it one-to-one? Ten for every life that didn't make it? Until we're all on our feet again? I can't speak for everyone that didn't make it; hell, I won't speak for everyone that _has_. All I can say is _I_ don't see the _point_ in you tossing yourself into a grave sooner than necessary by running yourself ragged."

Phineas let out a ragged sigh, and finally sat on the bed. "It's not that simple…" he admitted.

"...I know it's not. I know you're not going to let it go just like that. It just- it hurts seeing you like this, Phin," Jay quietly admitted. "The last thing I saw when I left earth was the door of my cryo pod. The first thing I saw when I came to was a mad scientist who told me things were headed into the toilet for the system I had never lived in, who shot me at a damn planet before I could string a sentence together. I had been a _cashier_ and didn't know the first thing about _anything_ out here. I didn't have much choice but to throw my lot with your plans, and _god am I glad I did_. It's been a wild ride and I really don't want it to be over so soon because you won't let yourself stop ever."

Phineas listened quietly, his face blank as they spoke. "That… almost sounds like a confession of sorts," he gently pointed out after a moment.

Jay sighed, praying he didn’t notice how their ears grew a shade or two pinker. "I am _trying_ to tell you to stop killing yourself with work, it's _very_ _upsetting_ ," they mumbled.

"I… appreciate the concern, really I do, but…"

"Phineas, you're going to sleep sooner or later and whether you want to or not. I don't want to be called in to carry you to bed after you pass out at your desk again," said Jay.

Phineas sighed, and didn't meet their eye.

"You haven't slept in a week Phineas, please go to sleep," Jay insisted.

"...You've been awake as long as I have," Phineas pointed out as he finally laid down. "It's not good for someone of your age," he wryly teased.

Jay cocked a brow, and leaned over. "Why is it my age only counts for _your_ arguments?" They asked.

Phineas gave them a wry grin, though he fell silent at how close they were, hands planted on either side of him as they loomed inches from his face.

Whether or not they noticed, Jay finally pulled away, sitting back up at his bedside. "I'll go to sleep if you do, since I'm only staying up for your sake."

"You don't have to worry yourself over me," muttered Phineas, glowering only _slightly_ as he didn't meet their eye.

"Someone has to, Mr. "keeps putting lit plasma torches in his pocket"," Jay teased.

Phineas glowered with his full power, meeting their eye again. "I don't have any idea what you're referring to," he deadpanned.

Jay gave him a look. "You gotta stop leaving your notes everywhere Phineas. Also you _asked me_ to help repair those pants," Jay replied.

"...Right…"

"Besides, the colony is already banding together, and starting to look after itself, where else am I gonna focus my meddling energy?" Jay gently teased.

"What are you possibly going to do when I finally pass?" Phineas absently asked.

Jay shrugged. "Get a hobby I suppose. Crochet, or maybe gardening. Reanimating the dead, perhaps."

Phineas snorted, swatting their side for the terrible joke.

Jay smiled, peering down at the elderly scientist at their side with a gentle sigh. "Phineas. _**Sleep**_."

Phineas's heart skipped a beat, and his hand shot out to grab their arm as they moved to stand. It was so autonomous it took even _him_ a moment to realize what he was doing. A quiet apology slipped out as he let them go.

"What?" Jay asked.

"I would rather… not be alone…" Phineas mumbled.

"......What would you like me to do?"

"Please stay…" Phineas muttered, with no small amount of chagrin for this moment of weakness.

Jay gave him a tiny smile. "I thought you wanted me to get to bed as well?" They asked.

Phineas muttered something too quietly for Jay to hear, his eyes not meeting theirs as he absently picked at his sparse bedspread.

"I… didn't quite catch that…" Jay murmured.

Phineas grit his teeth, before he mumbled it again, louder this time. "There's room…"

"I can only sleep on my right side," Jay replied. "Mantisaur tear. Is that alright?"

Phineas let out an embarrassed cough. "I can only manage on my left… since the board took me to Tartarus… I can, ah, manage, if you can…"

Jay gave him a soft smile, shucking off their shoes and jacket before lying next to him. "Go to sleep Phineas."

"Yes. Yes," Phineas mumbled dismissively, his eyes already closed. Perhaps this time he won't hear the screaming, is his last thought before he falls asleep.


	2. Chapter 2

He hears the screaming. He watches them melt before his eyes, too fast and far too slowly all at once. _This isn't right. Jay's the first one this **works** on_. _Why doesn't the screaming stop? Why doesn't it stop?_

Phineas startles as Jay shakes him awake, but the screaming persists. Why doesn't it go away? Why is the screaming so loud? He realizes its his _own_ screaming. With a rattly gasp, he peters off. To his chagrin his face is already wet with tears.

"Do you need space?" Jay asked, frightened by his panicked state, but not wanting to throw him into further panic if he needed room to breathe.

He couldn't speak. He couldn't nod or shake his head. He could barely keep his vision straight. He felt their arms tentatively encircle him, and he collapsed against them.

In any other situation he'd be insulted at the quiet humming, and massaging at his shoulders, insisting he doesn't need to be "babied". But he's beyond caring at that moment in time. Time is immaterial as he struggles to get back under control, wet sobs wrenching out of him for who knows how long, it feels like eons to him as he tries to get his breathing under control.

His voice is so very haggard when he finally regains the ability to speak again, and he feels even more tired than when he went to sleep. "Sorry," Phineas mutters.

Jay shakes their head, and tugs him closer to themself without a word as they lie down again.

He doesn't protest, too tired to care, as he falls asleep for a second time, his face buried in Jay's neck. He feels their fingers absently tug through his hair, and scratch at his scalp, as sleep takes him again.

The nightmares don't stop. 

They don't leave. 

But they grow more muted this time, as if the channel isn't wholly in focus as it plays over and over again. If he were awake, he'd suppose there was some tiny part of his subconscious aware the captain was watching his back, keeping his memories from turning wholly into night terrors again. 

It wasn't wholly restful sleep, but it was better than nothing, he'd begrudgingly agree if pressed.

Phineas is not sure how long it's been. More than an hour, if he _absolutely_ were made to guess. How much longer? He couldn't tell you. His chest tightens as he slowly comes around and realizes how tightly entwined he and the captain are in bed. His face is still shoved against their neck, and his arms are haphazardly thrown around them, and they clutch at his shoulders, still asleep.

His mind is chaotic at best. It feels like half his mind is throwing fits at the waste of time this is, about how there's still so many colonists to revive, and not enough time left to do it. While the other half was running recklessly around, trying to reason out what exactly they were to each other. And though the math was wholly inaccurate, there was yet _another_ part of his mind that reminded him of his many failures before he revived the captain. That told him endlessly that idle fantasy would do no good for either of them. That he needed to remain focused on his repentance, and he couldn't drag them down with him.

Jay woke with a far from charming snort, jolting against him before stretching. Their fingers clutched at his shoulder blades as they stretched against him, before letting go. 

Some non-physical part of him _ached_ as they pulled away. Starving for physical contact after decades of isolation he might say, if forced to remark on it. He mumbled his own quiet apology after they did, sheepishly pulling his hands back.

"Sleep any better?" Asked Jay.

He grumbled for a moment, frowning absently. "I suppose that might be one way to describe it…" 

"Sorry…" Jay murmured.

"Ah- don't worry yourself over it. It isn't any of your doing," Phineas assured them.

Jay couldn't help but smile a little at that. "I _told_ you. I like worrying over you," they teased.

Phineas rolled his eyes. "Next you'll be confessing to me," he quietly grumbled, without any real bite behind it.

"Ah, was I being that obvious?" Jay whispered, smiling fondly at him.

Phineas grumbled as he rolled over, sitting up with a quiet groan. "It's not nice to tease old men," he mumbled.

Jay paused for a moment before they gave him an odd look, rolling over to sit up as well. "...Then I won't," said Jay.

Phineas's stomach felt like it did the smallest of backflips. "Jay…" he mumbled.

"What? Am I not allowed to say anything now?" 

"You _have_ to be kidding…" mumbled Phineas.

"...Do I look like I'm kidding?" Said Jay.

Phineas stared at them. "This isn't funny."

"Do I look like I'm joking?"

"...You can't be serious," Phineas mumbled.

Jay sighed as they began to grow annoyed. "Phineas it's alright, you can just say you're not interested. I can handle it."

"Jay, look at me," said Phineas.

"I thought I was," replied Jay.

"Look _harder_ then. What do you see?" He grumbled.

Jay humored him, and looked long and hard at him. "I see an old man, in dire need of a shower, who would eat nothing but saltuna for the rest of his life if he was allowed to, who's looking at me like I'm crazy for falling for him. Who scribbled notes about my revival process that were oddly poetic for a stodgy old man of science. Who has made _terrible_ mistakes and has been dedicating his entire waking existence towards atoning for them. Who figured out what no one else could to save the colonists aboard the Hope, but needs to write reminders to himself to not set his clothes on fire or pop out his secret lab's window by mistake. Do I need to keep going?"

As he listened, Phineas had begun with his head resting in his hand, and had slowly worked his way towards hiding his face in both hands. "You're serious. You really mean it," he whispered to himself.

"What clued you in?" Replied Jay.

Phineas gave a long-suffering sigh at that, his face still hidden. "I- I need a drink… I need to think about this," Phineas stuttered, leaping from the bed quite suddenly for a man of his age.

"Phineas!" Jay tried to call after him, but he was already out of the room before they could finish a syllable.


	3. Chapter 3

He couldn't do this. 

He _shouldn't_ do this. 

Phineas tried to distract himself by tossing himself headfirst back into his work. He claimed he had perfected the formula several times by then, but there were always improvements to be made. Progress was never made by resting on one's laurels. He began searching through his desk for his datapad with the notes he was looking for. No, that was his reminder to get his jacket repaired after the sprats got into it. No… that was his other plasma cutter reminder. He grumbled at himself, and stuck a reminder to the side of his desk to _clean_ said desk.

Phineas ruffled his hair in annoyance as he tried to remember where it could be. It eventually caught his eye on top of his monitor, a small note affixed to the pad he was looking for. "Found this in cryo storage C, row 21. -J" read the scrap of paper. Phineas rolled his eyes and discarded the note absently, already scrolling through his notes. He looked through his records of refinements he'd made to the process over time. 

His frown gradually grew as he scrolled. He could hear their voice in his ear as he read most of the notes. "You think if we added this stabilizer we could use less?" "What if we slowed the process by 5%?" "Are you sure the solution will still be stable?"

Phineas set down the pad as he remembered their confession. His chest grew tight as he thought about how they looked at _him_ , as they laid beside him in bed.

He decided to check on the colonists. It's not like they're going anywhere, but it was a distraction-, er, routine. There was a team already in the observation room, squabbling about some inane nonsense. He ignored it as usual, pretending to pay attention when they updated him on the small bits of progress they had made. He glanced towards the seemingly endless columns of cryogenic chambers. 

It was like he was there again. His nerves raw as he slowly watched Jay thaw in 5° increments. Their face serene as he tried to keep himself together. How was he to know that particular colonist-cicle would cause him such stress and elation down the line? He grumbled at himself, barely bothering to offer an explanation as he wandered away from the other researchers, his stomach in knots.

Exhaustion tugged at the corners of his consciousness. Coffee. Coffee and caffeine fixes most everything, he told himself. Phineas returned to his favored coffee machine, his mind already trying to remind him of how Jay harangued him earlier as he brewed. He growled at himself as he shook away the memory and poured another cup of coffee, grimacing at how it had grown bitter and cold in his absence. Of _course_ it was then that he remembered he was out of his usual creamer. He grumbled at himself and steeled himself to endure more of the, urgh, Spacer's Choice brand creamer as he opened the small minifridge. He paused in quiet surprise as he noticed the new bottle of Auntie Cleo's creamer, sitting in its usual spot. As he regarded it, some dusty corner of his mind quietly reminded him of Jay rummaging in it the other day while he was otherwise engaged in work, of course after returning from various errands they'd offered to take care of for the lab as a whole. His stomach now too soured to deal with the bitter coffee, creamer or not, he grumbled and poured the rest down the sink before setting the mug aside.

Barely even thinking about it at this point, he began to walk back to his room. A change of scenery would clear his mind, he convinced himself. And if not that, he was sure he had something squirreled away he could toy with and experiment on to distract himself. Surely.

As soon as he walked in, he noticed the bottle, and can of saltuna, left on his bedside table. He sighed and quietly berated himself as he took a closer look, and noticed the note tucked beneath it.

"Try not to drink on an empty stomach. -J" was scrawled on the paper.

His stomach flipped this way and that as he regarded the tiny offering on his table, yet another quiet gesture of kindness left behind by the captain. He could picture it, them sighing softly and shaking their head as they left the note and items on his table before giving him his space after he fled.

He groaned at himself, and walked back out, soon finding himself at the captain's door instead, conveniently located just next to his. 

"It's open!" Came their voice from just inside before he could even knock.

Phineas sighed before he opened the door and walked in. 


	4. Chapter 4

Jay was sitting on their bunk cleaning an old gun of theirs, a tiny one they never bothered to use anymore, but still kept on hand for… sentimental reasons, they argued. Notes of various kinds were strewn about beside them, clearly unable to concentrate on one thing or the other for very long after they had last spoken. "Well?" Jay asked, after he stared at them in silence for a few minutes.

"You are _absolutely infuriating,_ " was the first thing he blurted out.

" _ **I'm**_ infuriating?" Hissed Jay in response, frowning from where they sat in bed, their patience finally wearing thin. " _ **I'm**_ infuriating?" They repeated.

Phineas almost wavered at their anger, but instead steeled his nerve and continued. "I try to clear my head, and think about anything else, perhaps work on my formula, and there you are. I can _feel_ your presence in my research. I check in on the other teams and see the hibernation pods, and you're back on my mind, remembering when we first met. I try to make a simple _fucking cup of coffee_ and remember you already bought more creamer, before I could even say I was out, and you're _there_ , on my mind _**again**_." He grumbled to himself before he continued, quieter than before. "You have been in my thoughts in _one way or another_ since I first met you. Whether I wanted to acknowledge it or not, I can't stop thinking about you. And then here you are, telling me you have… feelings, for _me_ , which doesn't help in the _slightest_ ," said Phineas, mounting frustration plain to see on his face. "I am not by any stretch of the imagination the right age for you. I am not a people person. I spent the better part of a lifetime _alone_ with a _pig_ for companionship and conversation. _What could I **possibly** have to offer you in return?_" Phineas asked, overwrought with exasperation by this point.

Jay's anger deflated at this. It didn't… dissipate, no, it was still there, just… more like a sad-looking souffle tucked behind everything else. They stood and gently took his face in their hands, staring intently into his eyes. "I dunno, maybe I have some sort of brain damage. Think someone spent time rooting around in my skull for something," Jay said. They gave him a soft smile before they continued. "A mad scientist with such fiery passion he scares the other scientists in his lab? Who knows me better than the other Hope colonists, even with the differences between us in age and origins? Who likes to taunt his coworkers who complain he's never grateful, by thanking me for bringing you a piece of paper across the room when they're in earshot? Who was known across the colony for being a murderous terrorist, but my first memory of you is you trying to look impressive when sending me off, but having to keep pressing the button when the mechanism won't fire." Jay continued to smile as they spoke, before shrugging and letting go of his face. "I'onno, guess you're just cute is all."

Phineas let out a quiet, broken sigh as they let go. His cheeks had grown hot when Jay cupped them, and remained so when they pulled away. Likely he was blushing, but there were no mirrors nearby for him to confirm such suspicions. "Those are terrible reasons to fall for someone," he tried to joke, his voice cracking just _slightly_ in the middle.

Jay rolled their eyes. "I thought the physical attraction one was strong enough," they murmured. "How about this? You're intellectually stimulating to talk to. But you don't shy away like so many other people when I get sarcastic, or attempt to joke at bad moments. You're abrasive at times but you _do_ care, you just show it with a bit of grumpiness. Also you're a surprisingly good dancer. Any of those more satisfactory?"

Phineas sheepishly cleared his throat, certain his cheeks were flushed in _some_ capacity by then. "You certainly, ah… have developed a laundry list of reasons…" he muttered.

"Doesn't hurt to be prepared when you're dealing with… particularly _stubborn_ individuals," Jay teased with a small smile. "...Not like I could think about much else anyways…" Jay sheepishly added, sitting back on the bed with a sigh. “I mean I have other observations for the why’s if you wanted to know **everything** , but… the rest aren't exactly… _flattering…_ ” Jay quietly admitted.

Phineas considered this for a bit. "Let's hear it," he said.

"Phineas…" Jay mumbled.

He sheepishly cleared his throat. "Gaining insight isn't about hearing what you enjoy. Out with it…… please."

Jay sighed. "To put it kindly… you make me feel useful, whether you mean to or not."

"...And without kindness?" He asked.

"......You're kind of a mess Phineas," Jay admitted.

"Ah… so… you feel like you have a purpose cleaning up after me?" He asked.

"Well… You're… a little absentminded about some things, and a little standoffish, but you don't push me away if I insist on helping. I'm… meddlesome, and really good at sticking my nose in other people's business, but you tolerate that part of me really well…"

Phineas thought about it. "...You like me because I enable you to be a nosy busybody?"

Jay snorted, but smiled at him. "Yeah… yeah, I do."

"Hmmph," he muttered. "Not exactly what I was expecting."

"What? Did you think I was going to say something quietly yet wildly poetic like "we compliment each other's _jagged edges_ like an awkward jigsaw puzzle" or "but I feel like we're soulmates" and all that jazz?" Asked Jay, smirking at him.

"Oh _**heavens**_ no, no, nothing as soul-baring as that," muttered Phineas, already settling back into their comfortable routine of snarking back and forth at each other. "I… didn't think you worried so much about being a busybody."

"It… tends to wear on you when people you were close to use it repeatedly in less flattering tones," they mumbled.

Phineas gave them a severe look. " _Bah_ , if they had any sense, they would realize you don't interfere without cause. I don't see why that's something you need to worry yourself with around here. Honestly, the colony is on the brink of starvation, there are bigger things to worry about," said Phineas, making a poor attempt at a joke.

Jay gave him a small yet insecure smile. "...Even I have my weaknesses..." they mumbled.

Phineas shook his head and smiled back at them. “Your secret is safe with me,” he murmured.

"Good. Otherwise I might have to find ways to keep you quiet," Jay teased with a smirk, perking back up.

Phineas wasn't sure whether it was a good or a bad thing, but a shiver still ran down his spine at the prospect regardless.

"What about you, Phineas?" They asked, trying to change the subject.

"What _about_ me?" Phineas asked back.

"Come _on_ Phineas, why me?- wait, actually, no… what did you mean by since we first met?" Jay asked.

Phineas faltered. "Ah- …just that."

"No I mean… _when_ do you consider that? When I woke up? The first time I came to your lab?" Jay pestered.

"Well, erm… the, ah… first time I laid eyes on you…" Phineas mumbled weakly, with no small sense of sheepishness, not meeting their eye. When he finally looked at them again, they were smiling so self-satisfiedly at him he couldn't help but blush as deeply as he could.

"Holy shit," they giggled. " _Really?_ "

"You know what, I changed my mind, I don't have unnecessary emotions towards you," Phineas muttered. He had to bite his tongue to stifle the absent hum of pleasure that threatened to slip out when they took his hand in theirs, gently squeezing it.

"I'm sorry for teasing. May I ask why?" Asked Jay. They gave him that genuine yet crooked grin that had gotten so many to follow their whims before him. He was screwed.

"Your file drew my attention. You made some sort of impression on the evaluator. They said you had a "silver tongue" which caught my eye- _let me finish_ ," said Phineas, interrupting himself when Jay gave him a **look** at that. 

Jay made a zipping up motion across their mouth, before gesturing for him to continue.

Phineas eyed them warily before he resumed. "You didn't…… appear particularly striking, while in suspended animation at least, so I had to imagine how you may have… buttered them up, so to speak. I am not… particularly social, so I assumed it would be prudent to perhaps have someone who had what I lacked, to help me with my plans. Imagine my later surprise to find you had such a capacity for more intellectual endeavours as well."

"I think that's the nicest way anyone has ever called me plain-looking," said Jay with a smile.

"That… wasn't to mean you don't cut your own, ah, striking figure, I just… ah…" Phineas muttered. "I'm… not sure exactly what drew me to you, just that I was- _…am_ drawn to you."

"Not so easy to explain now, is it?" Murmured Jay.

"Talking is not… my strong suit…" Phineas mumbled.

"I like your talking," said Jay.

"I suppose given the evidence, I'll have to trust you on that."

Jay smiled up at him. They giggled quietly to themself when the thought suddenly struck them. "You know what, I _do_ have one more question," they said.

"...Yes?"

"Has it met with your satisfaction?" Jay smugly asked.

"...Has _what_?"

Jay grinned, quietly taking his hand in theirs again and pointedly kissing his knuckle. "My silver tongue, of course." 

Phineas gawped for a moment, gulping quite audibly. He left his hand hovering in midair for a long moment after they let it go, before he gathered his focus again, sheepishly pulling it back to himself. "Continue teasing me like this and I am _most definitely_ not long for this world…" he muttered.

"Hmm, that certainly limits things in the bedroom," Jay further teased with a smirk.

Phineas choked on air at that, clearing his throat as he tried to calm his nerves. " _ **Jay**_ ," he muttered.

" _Kidding_ , kidding. We can, um, wait a little bit before broaching that… topic…" said Jay, stuttering slightly.

"For _my_ sake…" Phineas muttered to himself

Jay smiled apologetically at the older man.

Phineas couldn't help but give his own small smile in return. He paused, before steeling his resolve yet again and going for it. "Would you mind… indulging me for a moment?" Phineas muttered.

"I suppose there's a first time for everything," Jay teased with a grin.

Phineas rolled his eyes, but silently cupped their jaw, tilting their head up to look at him. "Please?" He whispered, a rare polite request from him.

"......Yes," Jay whispered back.

Phineas sighed into the kiss when he met their lips, and he could feel Jay try not to giggle as his breath tickled the corners of their mouth. He had meant it to be just a short, chaste kiss, but they kept leaning up into him whenever he began to pull back even slightly. And their lips felt so soft and warm. And it was so hard to stop when their hands tangled in his messy hair so warmly.

When he finally pulled back for air, he was surprised to find himself crouched above Jay in bed.

Jay couldn't help but laugh at his perplexed expression, stealing one more kiss before he could react. " _Whoa there_ raptidon," they teased.

"I, erm, can't help myself with you, I suppose," he replied, sheepishly smoothing out the wrinkles in his shirt as he straightened up again.

"Just try to reign in your animalistic lust when we're in the lab, 'kay?" Murmured Jay, smiling as they stood up to help straighten his collar. "We've got appearances to keep up, after all."

Phineas rolled his eyes, but smiled. " _You_ might, my name has been mud for a _while_ , if you recall."

"Like my reputation is spotless either. Associated with a known fugitive. Disobeyed the law and traveled to Monarch. Staged a jailbreak. Disregarded paperwork," said Jay, counting each offense off on their fingers.

"I might have been a bad influence on you," said Phineas.

"Thank goodness," said Jay.

"Thank goodness for the colony it would seem," said Phineas.

"Flatterer," mumbled Jay.

"You like it," he teased. 

Jay rolled their eyes. "I suppose I do," they said. "Especially if you're the one saying it."

“ _Now_ who’s the flatterer?” said Phineas.

Jay giggled, shaking their head in mock exasperation. “Don’t you have anything more important to do?” Jay asked.

“I was _sure_ you were considered important,” Phineas gently teased.

Jay blushed but shook their head. " _No I-_...I thought you were raring to go and continue working on your projects?" Jay quietly asked. “You were earlier, at least…”

" _Ah_ …I may have realized I've hit a bit of a wall on them for the moment…" Phineas muttered quietly. _And I want to spend more time alone with you_ , he thought to himself. "What, er… what exactly is all this?" Phineas asked, gesturing to their notes.

Jay gave him an understanding smile. "Oh. Well I noticed there were some recurring readings for a few of the other colonists we've resuscitated, and I was seeing if they had anything else in common… but there's a lot of data to sort through…" said Jay, sheepishly trailing off with a mumble.

"...May I see?" Asked Phineas.

"Hmm? Oh, sure, let me just move some things," said Jay, gathering up the weapons pieces and settling them on their desk instead, before gesturing for Phineas to join them.

Phineas settled next to them in bed as they both poured over old data, settling back into how things had already beenbetween them. The only real change being perhaps how closely they sat, and how frequent and far less accidental the "accidental" brushing of hands was when pointing out specific results.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. I am _positive_ I messed up the timeline a little for Phineas but I really liked how that bit of dialogue turned out so fuck it  
> 2\. if you want some real good-ass writing, you should check out my friend's nyoka/captain fic [At the Risk of Being Cheesy, I'm Falling For You](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21496309/chapters/51232444) 'cause that shit is _good_


End file.
